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Mario Kart Wii: He Wants
It was Saturday night and I had invited my friend over for a sleepover. After watching some TV, we decided to play a game on my nintendo Wii. My friend had brought her Super Mario Kart Wii game, which she'd bought on EBay a few days ago. She hadn't played it yet. We put the disc into my Wii, and the Mario Kart Symbol came up, as usual. I pressed start and the game began. The beginning video started, but it wasn't normal. Mario and Luigi had their invisible car fight as usual, but they looked different. Mario looked mad, and his eyes weren't blue, but red. His steering wheel was a horrific sight. It was covered in red substance, what appeared to be blood. His gloves were stained blood red. Luigi looked scared, as if he was trying to drive away from Mario. But Mario bashed Luigi, and Luigi slammed against an invisible wall, bursting with bloody injuries. I stared at my friend in horror. She looked just as scared. I asked her what we should do, and curious, she said we should see what else was wrong with the game. It was probably hacked or something. We were disgusted, and shaken, but very curious. As we started the game, and created a save file, my friend noticed an option on the corner of the screen, in the lower right. It said, "Death Race." My friend and I were interested, we're kind of obsessed with anything horrific, so of course we clicked it. Like any race that you do, it allowed you to choose 50cc, 100cc, and 150cc. We pressed 50cc, being the lame racers we are. The character screen came next, and it was the usual characters, but they looked kind of sad. Mario still had blood on his gloves, and the "M" on his hat had a "D" on it instead. Not knowing what this stood for, I continued to browse through the characters. My friend watched me as I stopped on Yoshi. It was horrific. His mouth had been sewn together, it appeared. I could see the stitch marks on his mouth. He was crying, and he had blood on his face. My friend's mouth gaped open, because Yoshi is her favourite character. She stole the remote from me, and chose Yoshi. He didn't make any noise, but fell on the ground in defeat as the screen advanced to the cart selection. Yoshi was now in the standard kart for medium characters, still looking disgusting and depressed. It was agonizing. My friend chose the standard kart, eager to start the race. The manual/automatic breaking screen came up, and what seemed like such an unimportant screen just had the same horror. It showed the demonic Mario breaking in both ways, manual and automatic. But, there was a rope tied to the back of his car. And on the other end was princess peach, who was being pulled across the pavement of the course, with the rope around her thin neck. She was pale, and she was coughing blood. She looked as if she was about to die. My friend dropped the remote, and I took it again. I was still determined to see what else this game had. I chose manual, and we quickly chose our course. The course selection was the same, but one race was different. Luigi's Circuit had been replaced with three words. LUIGI IS GONE. In horror, I avoided it, and chose mushroom gorge. It was my favourite course when I'd played Mario Kart two years ago. (My disc had been scratched and it was no longer working.) I pressed the blood red start button that then appeared. I wish I didn't. Yoshi sat at the starting line, in his kart. Then I realized..... All the other racers were the demonic Mario. They all glared at me, horrific red eyes staring not at Yoshi, but at my friend and I. The Mushroom Gorge soundtrack began and the race started, and it startled my friend and I. We accelerated ahead, but the Marios began to bash into my kart. I couldn't steer away, they had me surrounded. The course was covered in the dead bodies of Goombas, Koopas, and Toads. I did my best not to fall off of the course. I made it to the cavern, when things got worse. The mushrooms were all covered in blood, and the cave had blood red walls to match. The Marios continued to bash me, and I finally spun off of the course. I fell for a long time. The lakitu didn't come to get me, but it appeared in front of me. "You're falling to a better place" he said, and then he disappeared. We fell through blackness, and I couldn't even press the HOME button. I was scared, my friend was hiding under a blanket. I closed my eyes. When I opened them again, I was in a large white room. It was nothing but white. My kart had stopped. And then a shadow came up to me. As it came closer, I realized it was Luigi, and this was the room from the beginning of the game, the cut scene. Luigi was crippled, and his overalls were torn. His flesh appeared to melt off of his sickly green skin. His hat was gone, his hair was a mess, and his eyes were black, empty holes. "No one survives the death race" said Luigi in a whispering voice. "As long as Death is racing." Now I knew what the D on Mario's hat meant. It meant Death. Mario was Death in this monstrous world. "Join us..." Luigi whispered. From behind him came zombified versions of the others. Peach, Daisy, Wario, Waluigi, Rosalina, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Toadette, King Boo, even the baby characters lingered behind the others. Then we watched in horror, as the agonizing Yoshi stood up and died in front of the monsters. They feasted on his corpse, until he was nothing but the skeleton of a Yoshi. The camera then zoomed up on Luigi, who said, "He wants to kill you. He wants you to die in front of him, and to see the blood flow out of your body" The screen faded black, and the words on the screen came in eerie font the colour of blood. "You have beat the game. Now he wants his throne back." Then, it went back to the main screen, and everything was normal. Even the video had returned to its usual self. My friend and I ejected the disk and threw it away, in the neighbour's trash can. We didn't get to bed that night. All we could imagine were Luigi's words. He wants to kill you. Category:Wall of Text Category:Mario Category:Deletion Log Refugees Category:Pasta Trying To Be Good When It Sucks Enough To Be A Troll Category:POINTLESS VIOLENCE TOTALLY MAKES IT SCARY U GUIZE Category:Stupid is as the main character does Category:DIALOGUE! Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.